Me in 2013

It's been a little while, yes? Well, I am now prompted to post once again for the end of 2013. A sort of digital time capsule, if you will. ;) Here is everything about me right now--

Heidi Caroline
Age:16

School stats:
Grade:Junior
Current favorite colleges: 1)Carnegie Mellon 2)Lipscomb University 3)Belhaven University 4) University of Chicago 5)Taylor/Andersen Universities
Grade Average: 3.97
Favorite Subject: English, Physics, Geometry
Least Favorite: Chemistry
Favorite team: University of Louisville
Team I play on: Bluegrass Equestrian Team
Best friend at school: Kenzi, Korie
Backpack: Blue, LLBean
Favorite school outfit: Norwegian sweater, boots
My next goal: Get into CM, take SAT, get permit

Barn stats:
Favorite horse: Yank (duh)
Most impressive feat so far: Jumping 3ft on Echo
Most fun horse to ride: Yank, Echo, probably
Most challenging horse: Jemma, Yankee, Yank
Proudest moment: Winning 1st at State, Champion at KHJA, Clara winning Champion at York
Last piece of equipment I bought: Leather halter
Current boot brand: Ariat Heritage RT (best. boots. ever.)
Average barn time/week: 14 hrs?
Next goal: Show Yank at KHJA

Theatre stats:
Last play: A Christmas Carol
Favorite role: Beth 2012
Role I'm most proud of: Beth 2011, Maxine, Kate at BJ
Most fun role: Mrs. Crachit, Annie chorus
Hardest role: Kate Edwards
Acting role model: Martin Freeman, Samantha Barks, Gayle King (I<3U;)
Go-to audition song: Anything Can Happen, Everlasting
Next goal: get into GSA, Performance Troupe



Light book when I want to get away: Chestnut Hill
Book that instantly engrosses me: The Battle for Skandia, The Titan's Curse, The Sorceror's Stone
Book when I want to be pulled in: Percy Jackson series, Ranger's Apprentice series
New series from 2013: Keepers of the Lost Cities, The Thirteenth Reality, The Heroes of Olympus
Book I'm looking forward to come out in 2014: The Blood of Olympus
Movie I will actually sit through: The Hobbit
Movie I want to see next: Frozen
Movie I'm waiting to come out in 2014: Into the Woods, The Hobbit
Book I will one day write: Vertigo (AT)

Happy!

Be Happy.

Oh I'm as happy as a big sunflower
I laugh and dance and play
and as I frolic about the town
I laugh the day away.

Oh I'm as happy as a daffodil
I smile at the sun
and when I realize I've wasted a day
I say, twas a happy one.

Oh I'm as happy as a round red rose
I  blush from head to toe
and when I get to the end of the day
still happiness I show.

Oh I'm as happy as a daisy white
and though I'm not so smart
I know that if you want "content"
Be happy! it's a start.

Oh I feel fine though some say I
should not feel so carefree
Well I'll stay merry until you show
a reason not to be!



                                           And that's what I think about it!

                                                        By Clara.

What I Think

Here's WHAT I THINK about some things.
      -That Algebra is wholly unnecessary unless you want to be an engineer (which I DON'T)
      - Cantaloupe is also unnecessary
      - Portabella (portubella) (Portubela) mushrooms taste like roast beef
      - Kenzi is not doing the full College Package
      - Echo is not the best pony ever
      - Echo issa nut
      - Seven kids is not too much to have another
      - If I leave my birds are going back to their last owner because my siblings would kill them
      - Lake water is more fun to swim in than pool water
      - Dogs have too many fleas
      - It is not Marcus's fault he has founder
      - Pancakes taste better if you use several different kinds of flour
      - Cooking is not hard if you know about it
      - Barnes and Noble is the best store
      - If the best store is not Half Price Books
      - Sleeping late is not worth it
      - Writing is fun if you can write what you want
      - Flowers are good
      - I cannot garden
      - Baseball is fun
      - Climbing trees is good
      - Ticks ARE NOT
      - Mounted Games is the best sport
      - It is too much trouble to have an E-mail address
      - My four year old brother is too young to drive a tractor
      - I don't want to watch the Man In The Moon
      - I can't write everything here
      - The best way to take medicine is to take it in one gulp
      - Viva La Vida is a great song
      - I have to stop
      - This post is too long.

                                             Au Revoir,

                                                   Miss Me Myself

What if?

What if I sang like Brooklyn Shuck?
What if I'd taken dance in elementary school?

Would my life be different?

What if I'd never stepped into the barn at Windhover?
What if I'd never jumped a horse?
What if Miss Sara wasn't my (amazing) teacher?
What if I were still scared?

What would I look like?

What if I'd never had Ms. Avera in fourth grade?
What if I never wrote a poem?
What if I were still a freshman?

How different would I be?

What if I were never in youth choir?
What if I didn't meet Calla at AWANA?
What if Clara were someone else's sister?

Who would I talk to now?

What if I'd refused to go to that first audition?
What if I never went to that play?
What if I never met Graham Pilotte?

Where would I be?

What if I memorized verses with as much zest as I memorize Shakespeare?
What if I really got up early to read my Bible for more than twenty minutes?
What if I wondered what Jesus would do every second of my life?

Would my life be different?

I can't answer every question, but I know that I am about to find out about those.

Much love,

Heidi

Stretching my mind and my heart

I sit down at the piano.
My fingers begin to wander over the keys, pressing, releasing,
testing the waters,
apprehensive, but eager.
My mind fritters over the pages, wondering, scared.
Can I even begin?
I take a deep breath, and begin to play.
I am captured.
The music has overwhelmed me, drowned me, carried me away,
and I am prisoner,
though I would have it no other way.
As the music continues my mind wanders,
but never strays,
held by the music
lost in its spell.
My mind stretches and smiles
my heart laughs along with the melody,
enthralled by the magic.
And it's like dancing
and singing
and love
and war
all
rolled into
one.

Kentucky, I love/hate you.

I really do love this place. I've always thought it has the perfect blend of rural towns where men in battered ball caps stop into the corner store to buy a TruMoo, a lugnut, and a razor blade,

manicured and perfectly painted pasture fences around gorgeous polished Thoroughbreds,

and thrilling urban areas filled with culture, art, theatre, and good places to take pictures.


But...I have to say your weather leaves something to be desired.  It's so hot that during the day all I want to do is read Nicholas Nickleby somewhere cold. So then at seven something when it cools down all of a sudden i go running. I come home hot and wanting a shower, but by the time I have gotten a drink I've cooled off and think I'm OK for another hour. But then I decide to practice gymnastics for a while. Then I'm hot again. Then I cool off again. Then finally at nine forty or something I get around to dancing, and find myself so sweaty that I take a shower at ten fifteen at night and wake up with crazy hair since I went to bed with it wet.

I must say, those sixty degree days last week were quite satisfactory.

So...yes, you're amazing, KY, but it's hard to get used to literally dripping all day, all summer. And we haven't even discussed wearing riding pants all day.

It's been a good day.

Figured out how to make friendship bracelets, had a good ride on Ech and a great ride on Yank.

Finally cleaned the Hermés saddle. Awesome Bible study with Pastor Chris.

Actually did math. Had some chocolate strawberries and a bagel with peanut butter.

Found three or four ADORABLE hairstyles to try on Cici and Kenzi.

Milestone: choreographed an entire song today! (loosely based on a video...i.e. I choreographed it but tried to get the same feel. I'm not Broadway so I can't do those dances anyway...)

And for once, actually talked my sibs into doing it ;) They're awesome.

I did maybe eat a whole handful of chocolate chips...but it's summer. Sometimes I think that's my excuse for everything.

I have the biggest horse show I've ever been to on Sunday. Wish me luck. Apparently it's recognized and everything, and is a dress show, and USHJA, and the whole caboodle. Downside: I'm supposed to be at Lakeside by 6:00am. 6:00 AM!!! So I'll have to go to church on Saturday.

So...really random but...thank you God.

Whew.

Once again, I haven't written posted for weeks. I have five posts saved in drafts...I guess I got bored. So here's a quick update...

I had my last CEC on Tuesday. I three-way tied to win best project (it was a book of quotes from to Kill a Mockingbird). I still have LOTS of Chemistry and math to do, and I have to get Chemistry finished before August third or I can't audition for Stage One (which is the climax of my audition season).

I have been working on a tap solo I found online. I know my rhythm and clarity is bad and my form is even worse, but I've gotten better. I have a dance camp in June so I've been stretching a lot since I want to have my left splits by then (my previous goal was May...that didn't happen.) I have also been singing hours a day(Newsies...what else?)...and for once actually singing my voice songs since I have the recital in a few weeks (grrrrr. For those of you who don't know, I love performing, but I hate recitals. Hate them.) I also have been hinting to go to a singing contest in July...we'll see how that goes.

My great-grandmother died on Monday so Clara's been at my Gramma's for the past two days to help them with farm chores since a horse is about to foal. I somehow got myself into training a pony for a lady who lives near us and doesn't have the time, and fully training a green horse (that is now MINE :) And I love him ) but that's going to require like ten hours a week this summer. I also am working at the stable at least six hours a week to help with lessons, etc. And I will be over there all day for two weeks to help with pony camp.

I have rehearsals for Elizabeth and Darcy- A Love Story only every week and a half or so since I have four lines and am in two scenes (she says you don't have to be there unless it's your character). I am weirdly pleased by the fact that I have an actual understudy. That's right- not double cast, I have an understudy. I also am a student intern at Stage One for two weeks of drama camps for younger kids. I'm really looking forward to that.

And...I've been trying to run three times a week to do a 5K in July. Run it, not walk it.  But I have a tech rehearsal for E&D that day so I'm going to have to find another race. Then again, by June I'm probably going to be so tired from riding that I won't want to run- ever. ;)

So...what've y'all been up to? ;)

Victory

photo credit- ms. pat @usmga

What is victory?

The winning goal, the last jump cleared

the touchdown scored, the audience cheered

the prize is won, the trophy claimed

the crown received, the win attained.

But...

When you return home, after dark, to the light

when you hear the first cry and the baby’s alright

when you make your friend giggle, when your sister’s cheered up

when you make your first project, or cook your first sup.

And...

When Jesus is pleased, when your faith’s growing strong

when God gets the glory, when you know that you’re wrong

when you’ve served the LORD and you’ve seen that it’s fun

when you first hear God say “I am pleased with my son.”

Victory.

Of rejection, dejection, and everything in between

First know, fair readers, that this should have been posted a week and a half ago. But so should a lot of things have been.

On Friday, March 15, I auditioned for Kentucky's Governor's School for the Arts in Music Theatre and Drama.

On Sunday, April 14, I opened my rejection letter from the KYGSA administrators.

Did it sting? Yes.

Did I cry? No.

Did I avoid telling my sisters? Yes.

Did I immediately throw the letter away and then pull it out of the trash ten minutes later? Maybe. :)

Thing is, rejection hurts. It always has, and it always will. It was the first punishment of Adam and Eve- rejection from God's presence and God's garden and God's plan for them.

It was the punishment of the Israelites in the desert- rejection from the Promised Land.

It was Jesus' greatest injury on the cross- rejection by His beloved Father.

It's the reason girls are so worried about their weight, their clothes, their speech, their cover photo, their image. The fear of rejection.

It's the reason guys act so macho until you get to know them. Fear of rejection.

Here's the deal: rejection is actually a big part of most of our lives.

Here's the truth: It doesn't matter one bit!

Leviticus 26:11

I will place My residence among you, and I will not reject you.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

God loves us no matter what the world thinks of us. And He does not want us to give up!

So even though I did not get into the program I have dreamed about since seventh grade, I can't give up now. Look at how much I've poured into my acting career. Look at how much God has poured into us. He didn't just forgive us, He adopted us! That's a big deal!

As I was walking out to give the horse hay seconds after reading my rejection letter, I was thinking all sorts of thoughts about how I wasn't good enough for them, and how I must not be as good as I think I am (which really is not saying much; I have been known to be a bit vain in the secret courts of my heart) when all of a sudden a thought popped into my head. I'm not kidding- something completely new,fully formed, and practically spoken to me.

I thought, "I can reject myself and give up, or I can hone my skills and prepare for next year." Because, I thought next, I am my own worst enemy, and I am more critical of myself than I should be.

Please don't take this as vanity that I am such a great actor, or that I have so much self confidence, or even that I always hear when God talks to me, because it isn't that at all. I just wanted to share something that has been on my mind and that I my self really need to remember. In the words of Pastor Greg:

"What society puts out, God puts in. What the world writes off, God picks up."

Blogger Alphabet: C is for...

...Creation.

Romans 8:19

For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.

Colossians 1:15

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.

Psalm 19:1-4

The heavens declare the glory of God; 

   the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

    night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice^[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.

My Gramma's House

At my gramma's house, things are peaceful. At my gramma's house, there is plenty of space, but it's still cosy.

There is always something new to read. And somewhere nice to read it. At my gramma's house, there is always something new to look at. There is always work to be done on the farm, at my gramma's house.

My gramma's house is in the hills. It's really pretty to look at, my gramma's house. There are lots of good places to take pictures there. And nice siblings and cousins to take them with.

My gramma's house has lace curtains, and prisms and vases that make rainbows and shadows in the windows. It's always just a little dusty in the corners- so it's fine to be messy. It's light and airy and calm.

New ponds to splash in, new frogs and snails to chase, new cats to sit with,new trees to climb.

That's how it is at my gramma's house.

Quirky and Commonsensical

Don't you just love the word commonsensical? I do :)

I was just thinking the other day about the word quirky. Here's the definition:

quirky |ˈkwərkē|adjective ( quirkier , quirkiest )characterized by peculiar or unexpected traits: her sense of humor was decidedly quirky.
So, I came up with some quirks of mine that you should know :)
\\I like my shirts folded with the sleeves tucked back, so there's not a crease down the middle when I put it on. My mom is extremely kind to humor me in this way :)
\\I don't like things in my room. Now, if you know me already, don't have a heart attack. I did literally go from being the messiest person I know to being a neat freak in one week, no joke. (for those of you who have not seen m room...up until last Saturday it looked like someone dropped a clothing bomb. Now it bugs me if there's a piece of paper out on my desk :P)
\\I place high importance on table manners. Unfortunately, no one else in our house does, and I am frequently told to "stop being so bossy/fussy/mean/rude/a jerk." Seriously. Close your mouth when you chew.
\\I really don't like straight tomatoes. I don't know why. I have eaten them in every way possible over the past few years in hopes that I would eventually like them. I don't. Fresh from the garden, cooked, frozen ... I don't really like them.
\\I wear tie riding boots rather than lace. I think they look better and they conform to my foot more.
\\I don't like people to talk to me while I'm playing the piano.
\\I smile almost obsessively. I see so many people that don't and a lot of the time it looks like they're depressed or something. But I have Jesus in my heart so I can smile all I want :)
\\I have to have someone hold the horse for me when I mount. Every time. It is a failing, and I have a reason for it, but it's a long story. Bottom line: if we're going riding, hold the horse for me.
\\I get bored with my handwriting, so I change it. Often during history homework, because it's so mindless anyway. My history teacher probably thinks something's wrong with me.
Ta-daaa!! I promise I will make Clara write something tomorrow :)

Perfect Love casts out fear

Do you know what the opposite of love is?

Hate?
No.

Anger?
No.

Exasperation?
No.

The Bible says the opposite of love is fear.

1 John 4:18:
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 

New Oxford American Dictionary defines fear as:

fear |fi(ə)r|nounan unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat: drivers are threatening to quit their jobs in fear after a cabby's murder | fear of increasing unemployment | he is prey to irrational fears.
If you look at hate, anger, and exasperation, the root of all of them is fear. Fear of rejection,  fear of failure, fear of imperfection, fear of fear.
We've all experienced it. Fear is unpleasant.There is no way you would want fear. Especially when it is keeping you from something as wonderful as perfect love.
But as annoying, paralyzing, and nerve-wracking as fear is, it is not unavoidable. It is not invincible. It is overcomeable.

Isaiah 41:10‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ 

Here's the kicker: if you want to be free of fear and ready for perfect love, you have to trust God.
Let me tell you from experience how hard this is. It is so easy to get sidetracked by the danger,  the worry, the fear.

Matthew 6:34 

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God needs us to trust Him with our everything.

Psalm 55:22Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

God's perfect love casts out all fear. 

these are a few of my favorite things...

So...Clara decided it was my day to post something. And here I am- with no idea what to post about :)

I'll try something simple: a list post. (idea- Maddie)

With lots of pictures- because pictures are fun :)


//favorite places to be:

home

the stable

the barn

heaven hill

the bomhard theatre

the pond

this tower

my church -CBC

this horse show

//favorite things to do

ride

write

dance

read

perform

take pictures

swim

jump

laugh

play piano

fool around with my sibs

//favorite things to wear

these awesome kurtas

this dress

this outfit

these shoes

this hat

socks!!

Voila: first post :)

picture credits: mike (all horse show pics) google images (dance, tap shoes) stage one family theatre (performance picture) southern baptist seminary (susan dress) cbc (cbc pic) kenzi (reading&kurtas)